About Me v2

Shoaib is a very lonely person.

He is so lonely that he has a twitter profile, a facebook profile and he still uses orkut. If you dig deep you’ll find him on Hi5 and other similar crapsites too. In his free time(which is most of the time) he sometimes writes stuff for this blog(stuff like this).



He has created a blog before this too, but the homepage looked too shady, and the posts were very amateur(some of them are like that in here, too). So, he doesn't use it anymore. But, he still hasn't deleted it.



He hasn't written a single entrance test till now, but has still got into one of the premier technical institute of India, thanks to the NRI quota in the college. He is pursuing B.Tech in Civil Engineering (which he has no clue about, has no idea what they taught in the past 3 and a half years). But, he still believes, he'll be a good civil engineer one day.



He doesn't believe in horoscopes, numerology and other things. But, if he gets time, he checks out the horoscope page at the end of the day, week or month, just to see that it wasn't what happened during that period. He loves watching movies and listening to music, he has read few books, and none of them(each) were more than 300 pages, he plays only few games on his computer, has cleared some exams – but he never got around to doing much good in the world.



He loves just anything about football, Chelsea has been his favorite club team and likes Spain and France national teams. Apart from football, the only sport he has ever followed was cricket where in he remembers neither facts nor figures. He can never remember the field placements and is stumped when someone asks him what a
googly is. He can't play card games with ease, someone else has to start, and only then does he remember how the game is played. He is also ignorant about Cars, F1, sports bikes and like but can form an opinion if Google is around.


He loves travelling and adventure, but he has only got to do Rafting and para-sailing till now. Its his dream to do bungee jumping and sky diving one day. He also wants to visit some of the most exotic places in the world.


For a part of his life, he wanted to be a superhero, thought he had superpowers that will reveal themselves with time but apart from the power to survive without taking a bath for more than a week, he doesn’t seem to have any other superhero traits. No, he doesn’t own any red underwear too.



He is a very peaceful person. Never fought with anyone in his life because he follows in the footsteps of Gandhi ji. He has had a very bad history with his teeth, which are all very crooked and disoriented, so he doesn't like breaking them too, getting involved in a fight. Moreover, he loves his smile.


For the first 13 years of his life he stuck to a hairstyle, which he doesn't even remember how it looked like and then, in seventh grade, when a teacher scolded him to maintain his hair, he started trying out different things. Nothing has worked out properly till now. He hopes to come up with something good, that could please everyone, at least before he goes bald, which has been a heredity in his family. He hopes to get married before that, otherwise he would suffer a major drop in dowry prices.



He is a firm believer in Copy+Paste and depends on Google to write most articles. If you try searching, you'll find that this 'About Me' also has been copied from some other blogs (about which he doesn't want to mention here, and yeah, he does like Pritam and Anu Malik in some compositions, which are never their own).



He has often been labelled as an un-friendly, non-team person and has been labelled as a good friend and team worker too. As new labels arrive he’ll update you about them. At the moment he carries the currently-unemployed, eternally sleepy, I-will-not-leave-my-room-and-my-laptop labels.





Other things that he can't do:

1. look good or pose well for a passport-photograph

2. type a letter/blog-post without any grammatical error

3. remember the meaning of words like existential, preposterous etc.

4. paint or sketch without copying from a parent image

5. make a good first purchase(most of the clothes that he buys have to be exchanged at least once)

6. write in the same handwriting with different pens(his cheques are rejected because his signatures don’t match

with his signatures. *grammatically incorrect but sounds so cool*

7. keep good news to himself

8. dance

9. act

10. defeat Chuck Norris at anything.

11. solve a sudoku puzzle

12. tolerate the sound of a running tap, and a buzzing mosquitoe



5h0a1b:

1. is not homophobic

2. reads magazines from the last page first(for obvious reasons)

3. wants to make a teleshopping commercial one day, that too in all the Indian languages, especially South Indian

4. gives sleep a priority over anything unless he has something creative(which is a rarity) to do

5. is very punctual and always ends up before the guys who invite him

6. has tolerated Twilight, just because his cousin advised him, and yes, it was a girl

7. he fell in love with Dev.D so much, that, this was only movie that he watched thrice in a theatre

8. detests sms lingo and tryz 2 avd it afap

9. is extremely bad at mathematics(his worst nemesis) and spellings(his second worst nemesis) and grammar(you get the idea)

10. once, ended up doing a Sawariya pose, thinking it will be all cool and all, but it hit him back, because he is so fat, that all his friends started making fun of him, after that

11. can drink insane amounts coffee, if a girl wants to have with him, then do Contact Me

12. hates going to places where he doesn’t know anybody. That includes banks, police stations and kitty parties.

13. can cook maggi in 2 minutes #not

14. has mayonnaise with Aloo paratha, fried rice, omelette and almost everything edible

15. often googles himself

16. is stuck watching dumb family dramas and serials, just because he feels he has to spend some time with his family

17. hates mess food, but is forced to eat. Apart from that, he hates curd and pickle, even the smell of them irritates him

18. transmogrifies into an ostrich at the sight of threat

19. silently follows(not stalk) the lives of people he likes/admires even though they may not like him that much

20. ends up writing very long About Me pages, of course with the help of someone else's About Me pages.

21. likes being spelt 5h0a1b

22. ends lists abruptly